


Porcelain

by 78912



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Victorian, M/M, idk where this is going i have two braincells, implied wataei, kind of? like its not historically accurate victorian but. you know. the aesthetic, she/her pronouns for arashi narukami
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:54:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28521216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/78912/pseuds/78912
Summary: Shu Itsuki is grumpy, lonely, and one of the most esteemed dollmakers in the country. Mika Kagehira is overworked, a bit lost, and has a heart of gold. When Mika enters Shu's workshop for the first time, a relationship develops.
Relationships: Itsuki Shuu/Kagehira Mika
Comments: 8
Kudos: 50





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi! Welcome to this fic. Honestly this is pretty self-indulgent but the idea's been in my head in a while so i had to go for it. please be aware that while this isn't tagged right now, there will very likely be some wataei, rei/someone, and appearances by other characters in the future. there will also be at least one chapter containing smut, which i will make sure to put warnings ahead of in case that's not what you're here for. i actually plan on finishing this and not abandoning it, but let's see how that actually pans out. please enjoy! <3

_ Them again.  _ Shu glared outside of the window of his storefront from behind his desk. Nearly every day for the past month he had seen the same dark-haired young man, always accompanied by a gaggle of rowdy, unkempt children, pass by his workshop, and every single time he suffered in silence as he watched the children smudge his windows with their filthy hands. Between the sounds of the carriages, the wagons, the horses pulling them, and the church bells that seemed to ring too often, he had enough distractions already. 

“Oooh, look at that one! It’s new!” Shu heard one of the children exclaim from behind the glass. “Could we go inside this time? Pleeease?”    
  


The dark-haired man smiled sadly at the child. “Nn, well, you know I’d let ya, but those dolls look real expensive, ‘n I know how good you are at breaking things. Maybe when you’re all older, ‘kay?” 

Shu breathed a sigh of relief. Although the man looked and sounded dense, he at least had the decency to keep those children out of his store. Shu was, after all, one of the most well-respected and talented dollmakers in the country, with each one of his works being meticulously handcrafted down to the last detail. The dolls he created were priceless, with only the wealthiest people in the nation, and even some outside of it, coming to visit him to make a purchase. Between the commissions he received from his affluent clients and the few minor repairs he did on the less-precious dolls of common people, Shu was able to earn a comfortable living. 

“Oh,” Shu gasped quietly, his heart skipping a beat when Mika’s mismatched eyes met his own through the glass. He hadn’t realized that he’d been practically glaring at the other man this entire time, observing everything from his strange eyes to the gentle way he spoke to the children. Snapping out of his daze, Shu turned his back towards the window and faced the shelves behind his desk, embarrassed that he’d become so distracted so easily.

“Let’s get goin’, ‘kay? It’s gonna be dinner time soon. Hurry, before it gets dark!” 

Shu listened to the group’s voices fade as they scampered away along the cobblestone streets. He didn’t know why he’d felt so flustered, especially since the group’s visits had become almost routine lately. 

“What an idiotic feeling…” He muttered to the blonde, delicate doll perched next to him as he began lighting the candles on his desk. “Children simply cannot appreciate my art, can they, Mademoiselle? It’s pointless to even have the curtains open…” 

“Oh, you know that isn’t true! You were only a child when we met, and I  _ know  _ that you loved me from the first time you laid eyes on me. And you’re always complaining about being lonely, so what’s the harm in a bit of attention? Wouldn’t you care if they stopped coming around?”

“...I wouldn’t care in the slightest.” Shu insisted, peering out the window as the sun began to set. “I would not care at all.” 

****

“Um, ‘scuse me…” 

Shu nearly fell out of his seat. He had been so engrossed in his work that he hadn’t even noticed that someone had walked through the door. “Sorry, how can I--” he paused suddenly. The last person he expected to see this cold, gloomy afternoon was the familiar dark-haired man, this time childless and standing at his doorway. “How can I help you?” 

Mika hesitantly made his way towards Shu’s desk at the back of the room. “I just, uh… well, since I’m always peekin’ in with the kids, I thought I’d properly say hello. I hope it’s alright, since you had your lights on and everythin’.” 

Shu hesitated for a moment. He normally wouldn’t like visitors who were there only to waste his time, but he figured since the man had been seemingly interested in his work for quite a while that he would allow it. “Considering your entourage isn’t accompanying you this evening, this would probably be the ideal time for introductions. Please, come in.” 

“Sorry, yeah… They’re noisy, but they’re cute ‘n sweet so it’s worth it. Anyway, tonight’s m’ night off and I was in the area, so I was thinkin’ it would be a good time to thank you and to apologise for all the noise. Oh, I’m Mika Kagehira, by the way.” 

“Your bunch is quite rowdy, but I suppose they do keep me entertained from time to time. Although, I do wish they would touch the windows less. They’re cumbersome to clean, especially when the weather is this cold. Regardless, it’s nice to formally meet you.” Shu walked out from behind his desk. “What are they to you, then? Your pupils, nieces and nephews…?” 

Mika chuckled with embarrassment. “Ah… somethin’ like that. Actually, I just take care of ‘em for work. They’re all livin’ in that orphanage a few blocks away, an’ since I grew up there too, it makes me real happy bein’ able to take care of ‘em now. Hm… I guess they’re kinda like my students, and also my nieces and nephews, then.” 

It was Shu’s turn to be embarrassed. Complaining about literal orphans was the last thing he planned on doing today. “Oh… Well. That’s noble of you. I suppose that even though dolls are quite eye-catching and intricate, children  _ would _ be naturally attracted to them. That’s part of the beauty of youth, after all.”

“Yeah! I mean, they love it. It’s hard gettin’ them anythin’ new or expensive or beautiful like these dolls here, so even gettin’ to see them through the window’s excitin’ for all of us.” 

  
Shu beamed. If even this bumpkin could find his work beautiful, then maybe there was hope for the rest of the world as well. “I’m happy to hear that. Even if they don’t fully understand the work that goes into creating these, I’m glad they are able to appreciate their beauty. You know...” His voice faltered as he became distracted by the row of buttons on Mika’s coat, all of them black and large except for one at the very top.  _ Why on earth would you use a brown button on a black coat, especially when not a single one of the other buttons are brown? It’s horrifying! Honestly, how tasteless-- _

“...Are you lookin’ at my eyes!? Nna, I know they’re weird… Everyone does this…” Mika whined. “I know, I know... I don’t mean t’ be creepy… the kids think I am, too...”

“No, no!” Shu stuttered. “If anything, they’re lovely. But even if they weren’t, you shouldn’t let anyone,  _ especially _ a group of children, let you feel guilty about such a beautiful and rare trait. Is it not better to take pride in your unique characteristics than to feel the need to conform?” 

Mika blushed. He’d gotten comments about his eyes before, but no one had ever called any part of him beautiful so directly. “I, uh… guess you’re right. None of the dolls have got eyes like mine, though, so how nice could m’ eyes actually be?” He asked, surveying the shelves of dainty, elegant dolls that lined the walls. “Ya make all of these yourself, don’t ya?”

“Yes, I do. And, because these are my own creations, I can confidently assure you that the reason that none of them have eyes like yours is because I have never seen any person with such a feature in the past. Honestly, this display of insecurity doesn’t suit you at all.” Shu huffed. “...To answer your original question, I wasn’t looking at your eyes. I was looking at  _ that. _ ” He gestured to the unsightly button. “Why on  _ Earth _ is it  _ brown _ ?” 

“Oh, uh…” Mika laughed nervously. “Well, sorry for gettin’ defensive, then. ‘Cause I grew up pretty poor, I always had t’ fix things ‘n use whatever I had to get it done. Even now, since I gotta set a good example, I just fix up whatever I have with whatever’s around. So if I’ve only got a brown button, then a brown button it is! Ah, ’m pretty shocked ya noticed that. Aren’t they basically the same color, kinda?”

“Non!” Shu asserted, immediately retreating behind his desk and rummaging through his shelves. “Absolutely not! Not in the slightest! Don’t you understand how inelegant it is to use these colors together so carelessly? There isn’t a single other brown button on the placket, so if you  _ insist  _ on being this careless, then at least commit to being consistent!” 

After locating four of the blackest buttons he had, Shu pulled a chair out from a corner of the room and pushed it towards the desk, gesturing for Mika to sit. “Take that thing off and hand it over to me. Since we’ve just met I’m not entirely sure just how thick your skull is, so I’ll be kind and do it for you this time. Sit here.”

Shocked, Mika slipped off his coat and handed it to Shu. “Wow, for someone who’s practically a stranger, you’re pretty comfortable scoldin’ me already. Gettin’ advice from someone’s pretty nice, though… Now that I think ‘bout it, Naru’s always sayin’ those things to me, that I dress better an’ stuff.”

“Whoever Naru is, she sounds very smart. You should take her advice more often.” Shu said, picking at the buttons with his seam ripper. 

“Mm, I prolly should. She’s my best friend, after all.” Mika set his elbows on the desk and rested his face on his hands. “Ah, that doll there looks a li’l different… Did you make her, too?” He asked, nodding towards the doll perched on the shelf behind Shu. 

“Mademoiselle? No. Well, I made her clothes, which is why we’re matching, but I didn’t make  _ her _ . She was given to me by my grandfather in my youth, and we’ve been together ever since.” Shu explained, his gaze focused on the coat as he worked. “We used to do everything together, but now that she’s aged, I prefer to leave her at home where I know she won’t be damaged.” He set down his seam ripper and reached down to thread his needle. “It’s ironic, isn’t it? The most charming feature of a doll is its eternal youth, and yet in reality they age just as we humans do. Though I should be thankful, since the diminishing quality of dolls over time guarantees that I’ll be afforded an income through repairs…” His voice trailed off as he began to sew the new buttons onto the coat.

“...Ya know, ya seemed pretty standoffish ‘n weird at first, ‘n now you’re sittin’ here getting all thoughtful. It’s pretty funny, ‘n a bit cute.” Mika laughed. “ You’re fast, huh… I wish I could do that as fast as you. ‘Specially how ya got the thread through the needle so quick! That part always takes me a minute or two, ‘n sometimes I even poke my finger...” 

“ _ I’m  _ the weird one?” Shu scoffed. “I take pride in my craft, so sewing this hastily is not something I’m happy to do. I just don’t want to keep you here after dusk.”

Mika’s eyes widened as he realized how dark it had gotten outside. “Nnah, how long have I been here for! I only meant t’ introduce myself. Sorry t’ waste more of your time…”

“It’s not a waste. If I could fix that eyesore, then I think it’s well worth the effort.” Shu gave the new buttons one final inspection before handing the coat back to Mika. “I’m assuming that you’re aware that there is a massive hole in the seam of the lining as well?”

“Thanks…” Mika took the coat back hesitantly. “ ‘n yeah, I noticed, but I’m pretty nervous about fixin’ it since it’s all inside out ‘n stuff.” 

Shu sighed. “With all of the mending you claim to do, you’re telling me you’ve sewn a slip stitch in your life?” 

“Nn, well… no? I think ya saw already, but I’m pretty sloppy since I gotta fix everythin’ all the time, so I just kinda do whatever. Actually, I never learned how t’ sew for real. I’m mostly wingin’ it.” 

“Didn’t you just say that you wanted to set a  _ good  _ example for the children?” Shu bit his tongue, holding back any further insults as best as he could. “...Okay. When’s your next day off?” 

“Ah, a week from today, I think?”

“Then come back a week from today. ‘Doing whatever’ isn’t good enough, especially when you’re setting an example for impressionable youngsters. Luckily, it seems that you have plenty of untapped potential, so hopefully you won’t be too hard to teach. It’s nearly winter, so it would be wise to mend the seam as soon as possible. From now on, no more ‘winging it’.” 

Mika’s smile grew with surprise. “Really? Ya want me t’ come back? I thought I was jus’ annoyin’ you...” 

Shu shook his head with exasperation as he walked Mika towards the door. “I already told you that I’m not annoyed, although I will be soon if you keep repeating yourself. Helping people make their own lives more beautiful is a privilege, so if anything I should be thanking you for the opportunity.” He insisted as he walked Mika towards the door.

“Nn, sor-- okay, okay. I’ll see you next week, then. Ah, wait--” Mika turned in the doorway to face Shu once more. “Ya never told me your name.” 

“It’s, um…” Shu’s breath hitched as they made eye contact. “...Shu Itsuki. It’s on the door, isn’t it?”

“Oh! Yeah, guess it is. Hah, ’m kinda an airhead so I miss things like that, even though I’ve walked by here a million times before. I should pro’lly start payin’ attention, huh?” He grinned as he began fastening the new buttons on his coat.

“That would be helpful.” Shu hesitated for a moment as he reached for the door handle. After spending so many evenings alone, it would have been nice for Mika to stay for a longer while. “It’s starting to get dark.”

“Nn, yeah… Thank ya again. I really mean it!” Mika turned away, his face turning pink from a combination of elation and the cold autumn air. “See ya next week, then!” 

“Get home safely.” Shu couldn’t help but smile as he watched Mika walk away so excitedly that it almost looked like he was skipping. He never thought he could have that effect on a person-- or that a person could have that effect on him, either. “And  _ you  _ get a hold of yourself…” He muttered, placing his hand over his heart in a futile attempt to calm its rapid beating. He had a feeling that the next week would pass by far too slowly. 

  
  
  


  
  
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for making it this far! i hope you liked it. please leave me any feedback you may have as i'd like to improve as this progresses. also, i don't know if 'dollmaker' is a word. it's not in the dictionary but it does have a brief wikipedia entry: "A dollmaker is a maker of dolls". Either way, i feel like there should be a word for someone who makes dolls that isn't 'dollmaker'.
> 
> chapter two of this is mostly written, so please watch for updates if you want! this fic won't really have any heavy plot or conflict in it because im baby, but i hope it's fun to read regardless. thanks again!!!!


	2. Chapter 2

“Not good enough…!” Shu groaned angrily as he surveyed his workshop. This day of the week had always been slow, so it had become routine for him to spend the mornings cleaning and organizing every nook and cranny of his workshop. The tiled floors had been scrubbed clean, the drawers organized, and the shelves dusted. Old, worn out candles had been replaced with new ones, and he’d taken the time to bake a fresh batch of croissants. He pulled at the tiebacks of the heavy burgundy curtains that framed the windows of his shop for what seemed to be the millionth time that day, then deftly retied them into a perfect bow. In spite of spending nearly all day on his diligent preparations, Shu couldn’t help but feel restless.

“ _ Why  _ can’t I do a single thing correctly today?” He grumbled, untying the cord and then tying it once more.

“Could it be that you’re nervous?” Shu heard Mademoiselle giggle from her shelf on the other side of the room. “You’re expecting Mika to come by again today, aren’t you?” 

Shu tensed up and focused his attention on adjusting the already perfectly aligned row of dolls on display in the window. He knew she was right. Even before they had ever said a word to each other, Mika’s presence had already begun to bring a bit of excitement into Shu’s life. Now that he’d had the opportunity to get to know the other man, in spite of it being a brief encounter, the infatuation that Shu felt was becoming increasingly harder to ignore. “Why would someone like myself have a single iota of anxiety over someone like him!? If anything, _he_ is the one who should be nervous.”

“Well, you didn’t exactly seem calm after he left the last time.” 

“That is entirely untrue!” He contended, turning to face her. “You and I both know that--” 

“Good afternoon!” 

“Ah!” Shu jumped when he heard Mika’s voice. “You-- ! Why must you always startle me like that!?” He took a deep breath to regain his composure. The anticipation coupled with Mika’s sudden entry had stained his cheeks a faint pink, and he felt like he couldn’t catch his breath. 

“Nnah, ‘m sorry! I didn’ mean t’ scare ya or interrupt your conversation or anythin’! Who were ya talkin’ to, anyways?” Mika asked, curiously looking around the workshop while he stood in the doorway.

Shu hesitated. “...Nobody. Enter. It’s cold outside, and if you continue to stand there mindlessly then you’ll get us both sick.”

“Sorry, nn, sorry!” Mika hurried inside and shut the door behind him. “By the way, it looks good in ‘ere! Did ya change somethin’? Um, not that it didn’t look good before...” He asked, sliding off his coat before taking a seat in the dark wooden chair that Shu already set out for him. 

Shu flipped the coat inside out and gently set it on the table. “I spent most of the morning cleaning and organizing-- I’m astonished that you noticed. Maybe there is something in that head of yours, after all.” 

Mika grinned. “That sounds like a compliment when it’s comin’ from ya! Yer pretty critical, ya know? But I guess that’s what ’m here for...” He yawned, resting his elbows on the desk and cupping his cheeks with his hands.

Shu rolled his eyes. “If your behavior didn’t necessitate criticism, then I wouldn’t give it. Let this be your warning that if I’m going to be instructing you, then you shouldn’t expect to be coddled.” He reached into one of the drawers underneath the desk and pulled out a spool of black thread and a needlebook that he’d prepared for the occasion. “Pick out a needle and thread it.” 

“Gotcha!” He chirped. “Nn, I’m real tired, so let’s see how long this’ll take…”

“I expected you to be more energized, considering it’s barely noon and you aren’t working today.” 

“Nn, yeah… I wanted t’ be, too. Actually, I went t’ bed earlier than usually last night, but I couldn’t sleep ‘cause I was pretty nervous for today.” Mika admitted. Reminding himself of his anxiousness certainly didn’t help with the threading process. “Honestly, ‘m kinda intimidated by ya… ya make all of these perfect things all by yourself, ‘n I can barely manage t’ sew on a button.” Mika chose to omit the fact that just  _ seeing  _ Shu filled him with an amount of joy that he hadn’t felt in years.

This wasn’t the first time that Shu had been told he was intimidating. While he normally accepted it as validation of his exceptional abilities, he oddly felt disheartened by Mika’s confession. “How is it possible that I’m intimidating when  _ you  _ are the one who came in here and introduced yourself?” 

Mika laughed shyly. “I dunno what came over me. I usually don’t feel too comfortable talkin’ t’ new people, but when I saw that ya were here ‘n I didn’t have the kids with me… I know it’s sorta dumb, but it felt like fate, in a way…?” 

It had been ages since Shu had rejected the very concept of fate itself. So why was he sitting next to Mika with his heartbeat rapid and butterflies in his stomach? 

Perhaps Mika felt that connection, too. The feelings that Shu tried to ignore, that he’d convinced himself couldn’t be real,  _ especially  _ towards someone he’d barely spoken to-- could there be a chance that he wasn’t crazy? That maybe it would be permissible for him to want to know the other man just a bit better? 

Shu forced his train of thought to come to a halt. The last thing he wanted out of this arrangement was to develop any cumbersome feelings-- or rather, any feelings other than the ones he already had. He’d already felt completely ridiculous about how much he’d anticipated their appointment. Even before Mika formally introduced himself, him stopping in front of his window was the highlight of his day. How could he let his emotions towards a stranger get the best of him? 

“Well, I can’t say that I believe in the idea of fate or destiny or what have you. Regardless, I’m glad that you were able to overcome such a fear.” Shu cleared his throat, his eyes narrowing at Mika’s fingers. “Hurry up, won’t you? You haven’t even threaded the needle yet.” He removed his pincushion from its ceramic stand at the end of the table, running his fingers over the pinheads before pulling one out. Leaning over Mika’s jacket, he meticulously lined up the ripped seam before pushing the pin into the fabric. 

Mika watched Shu’s nimble, slender, fingers move deliberately between the pincushion and the fabric, his eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he worked. There was something about seeing Shu, who was normally very vocal about his opinions, abruptly become calm and collected when focused that Mika found endearing. He took a few moments to study Shu’s face, following the line of his jaw up to his eyes, such a peculiar shade of blue that they almost seemed purple, and felt a bit less self-conscious. There was a gentleness to Shu after all. 

Mika’s determination to impress Shu was reignited. “Ah, got it!” He exclaimed after finally threading the needle. “I warned ya, it always takes me a real long time.” 

“You weren’t exaggerating...” Shu mumbled, too focused on inserting the last few pins to properly chastise Mika. “Since you’re here to learn, I’ll show you how to start it and let you finish the rest.” 

Mika nodded and handed the threaded needle to Shu carefully. “Thanks again, by the way. I know ‘m pretty bad at this stuff, but I’m gonna try my best, ‘kay?”

“Of course you will, otherwise I’ll take it as a sign that you aren’t serious and leave you to figure it out on your own. Now…” Shu picked up the coat and held its dark, soft lining in his fingers. “When you’re sewing something like this that has the seams on the inside, you want to use this kind of stitch.” He explained, puncturing the fabric with the needle. “Watch as it goes into the channel that I’ve pinned down here?” Shu waited until Mika nodded, becoming slightly nervous when he realized how closely Mika had bended in towards him. “Next, I’ll pull it through to the other side of the fabric, and continue moving upwards until the hole is closed.” He sat the needle down and scooted away from Mika shyly. “Go ahead. I’ll be watching, so don’t disappoint me.”

Mika took a deep breath and picked up the needle. “...Nngah, ‘m too scared!” He whined. “I didn’t think somethin’ like this could be disappointin’ to ya, ‘n I can’t even tell if yer kiddin’ or not. ‘N you’re sittin’ there, watchin’ me all hawk like…” 

“O-Of course it was a joke!” Shu lied as he stood up. He’d suddenly felt incredibly remorseful for putting pressure on him for something so trivial. “Keep your word and spare no effort. I’ll give you some distance while I bring something for us to eat.” 

Mika watched Shu open a door adjacent to his desk that Mika hadn’t noticed before, revealing a staircase in a narrow hallway. His eyes lingered on Shu’s broad back as he watched him make his way up the stairs, waiting for him to be out of sight before refocusing on his task. Picking up where Shu left off, he weaved the needle through the channels, grateful that Shu had taken the time to pin the slippery fabric down for him. 

“Are you nearly finished?” Shu called from the stairs, a platter of croissants in one hand and a stack of plates in the other. 

“Yep, I think so!” Mika replied. “Although I did somethin’ kinda wrong here… it looks off a little, right?” He asked, looking up at Shu. “Oh, what d’ya got there?” 

“Croissants.” Shu answered curtly, setting the plates gently down on the desk before taking the lining into his hands, scrutinizing it for a moment. Remembering how terrified Mika had seemed to attempt this stitch while Shu was watching, he took a deep breath, trying his very best to restrict his criticism to words that wouldn’t make the other man cry. 

Mika groaned and covered his face with his hands. “It’s bad, isn’t it!? I can tell by that look on your face…”

While Shu felt a bit guilty, he mostly felt relieved. “I warned you to expect an honest critique, didn’t I? Yes, it’s substandard, but it’s also your first attempt. Do remember that while failure is disappointing, accepting defeat is exponentially more disgraceful.” He retrieved a seam ripper from one of the drawers under the desk and handed it to Mika, who avoided Shu’s eyes as he took it. 

“I guess you’re right. Ya seem to be kind of a perfectionist, so it’s only fair of ya t’ expect what I do t’ be perfect too, right? I’m pretty bad at doin’ things correctly, so I dunno what I expected.” He ran his fingers against the edge of the desk. After accidentally admitting to Shu that he’d wanted to impress him and subsequently failing to do so, the little confidence he’d had was gone. “...Will ya watch me this time, then? Now that I’ve gotten yer criticism, havin’ ya watch me couldn’t be that bad, I think.” 

“Yes. We would likely be finished already if you had let me watch you initially.” Shu complained. He reached across the table and placed one of the croissants onto a plate, passing it to Mika before taking one for himself. “You should recuperate first. It seems that even simple tasks make you anxious, for some reason.” 

“Ah, thanks…” Mika smiled, pulling the plate in front of him and poking at the croissant sadly. “It’s not that I’m anxious… it’s jus’ sometimes, it’s kinda hard to be myself. Nngh, I feel pretty pathetic admittin’ it… ‘m sorry.” He sighed, staring down at the croissant to avoid Shu’s agitated gaze. It almost seemed like his frown was permanently etched into his face, and Mika couldn’t stop himself from wondering if it was because of him. 

“Listen closely, Kagehira. I’m becoming tired of repeating myself like a fool.” He met Mika’s eyes seriously. “You may not be perfect, but very few people are. The sooner that you accept this as a universal truth, the faster you will comprehend that your incessant self-deprecation and ceaseless apologies do you no favors. In fact, they make you seem weak.” Shu took a moment to catch his breath, feeling a pang of guilt as Mika’s face became even sadder. “...But, I’m certain that that isn’t the case. Though we haven’t known each other for long, I do know that no weak person could ever be in your line of work. Your presence here, willing to learn after experiencing a minor setback, demonstrates that you are resilient.”

Mika grinned bashfully. “...ya know, even when you’re tryin’ t’ be nice, yer still pretty mean…”

Shu sighed. “The point that I am trying to make is that when you repeatedly declare yourself to be incapable or unintelligent, not only will other people perceive you as such, but you too will genuinely start to believe that you are and eventually become so.” He crossed his arms over his chest, almost angry that he had to explain this to Mika. It was one thing to become annoyed with him over minor things-- that happened with nearly everyone he knew. But for Mika’s self disparagement to cause Shu to become defensive on his behalf was a foreign and disconcerting phenomenon. 

“Ah, I… I guess you're right…” The weight on Mika’s shoulders felt a bit lighter. “It seems like you're always right, actually.” 

“Obviously.” Shu smirked. “Feel free to eat. I made them this afternoon, so they’re fresh.” 

“ ‘course ya did!” Mika tore the croissant down the middle. “Yer sittin’ here tellin’ me no one’s perfect, ‘n here you are makin’ all these things all professionally all the time. There’s nothin’ ya can’t do, huh?” 

“Really, now…” Shu gasped as he watched Mika’s rough treatment of the croissant. “I simply had an upbringing that allowed me to invest time in activities that I enjoy. And I don’t call myself incompetent every five minutes, which I’m sure is a contributing factor.” Shu chuckled, a smile growing on his face as he bit into his croissant.

“Hey…” Mika’s eyes lit up. “...You’re finally smilin’, huh? That’s good, even if it’s at my expense.” 

Despite the other man’s harsh words, Mika was elated. While he did have friends who loved him dearly, he was not particularly talented at socialising, and had often felt that his awkwardness had made people uncomfortable. It was markedly difficult for him to explore outside of his boundaries, so when Mika had mustered the courage to venture into Shu’s workshop for the first time, he’d shocked even himself. Perhaps, he thought, that was why he’d felt so comfortable around him; while Shu believed that Mika was being unnecessarily critical of himself despite barely knowing him, Mika was aware of just how brave he’d had to be to reach this point. Shu didn’t know the parts of him that Mika detested, and that alone helped Mika feel more at ease than anything else.

Shu watched Mika as they ate, becoming unsettled by Mika’s uncharacteristic pensiveness. “Does it taste bad?” Shu asked, setting his own half-eaten croissant down. “Your silence is worrying me.” 

“Mm-hmm!” Mika shook his head as he swallowed. “Not at all! ’m real impressed with how good these are. I was just thinkin’, that’s all…” 

“How am I supposed to believe you when you’ve barely eaten?” 

Mika chuckled, rummaging through the pocket of the coat that was still laying on the desk. “I’m always eatin’ these, so I feel sorta weird eatin’ homemade food.” He retrieved a round, paper-covered candy and set it down next to Shu. “I started carryin’ them around for the kids, ‘n then they became convenient so I got into a pretty bad habit of eatin’ them too much. They’re good, but not half as good as yer croissants. ” 

“No wonder you’re skin and bones. Don’t you feed those children food with actual nutritional value? What’s stopping you from eating with them?” He asked incredulously, wiping the corners of his mouth with a handkerchief. 

Mika’s eyes followed Shu’s fingers as they grazed his lips. He never thought he would feel jealous of a piece of fabric. “Well, yeah… But food’s expensive, ‘specially for that many kids ‘n all the others that work there. I’m pretty okay with not eatin’ too much, and the less I eat the more they do, so it’s a good trade off for me.” 

“I apologize for reprimanding you once more, but--” Shu paused, his face becoming serious. “Actually, no I’m not. You need to take better care of yourself. What kind of adult subsists on sweets made for children? Especially when you should be a good role model. What’s more, if you truly feel that you’re incapable or clumsy, then eating food that doesn’t shorten your life expectancy would probably help change that.” 

Mika burst out into laughter and covered his handkerchief with his hands as he squeezed his eyes shut. “There ya go again. Ya always got somethin’ t’ say, huh?” 

Shu bit down on the inside of his cheeks to keep from laughing with him. “I-it’s not… How am I, or anyone else with self-respect, supposed to ignore the things you tell me! It’s an unreasonable expectation!” 

“I like your comments, though. They make ya special.” He admitted, grinning wildly as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “Hey, I was thinkin’... well, when you asked me ‘bout why I was quiet earlier…” He looked away. “...This won’t be the last time ya teach me, right?” 

Shu’s face warmed. “I… No. Of course not. We haven’t fixed the lining yet, and it seems like you have plenty more to learn.” 

“Nn, I totally forgot ‘bout the sewin’ !” Mika hid his face in his hands as he laughed. “Guess I really ‘m tired, huh…” 

“Well, at least you won’t lose sleep over me anymore.” Shu regretted the words as soon as they left his mouth. “I mean… since hopefully, I no longer intimidate you.”

Mika shook his head. “A li’l, but a lot less than before. You’re a lot more dorky than I thought, ya know?”

Shu glared at him. “Don’t you have a lining to repair?” 

“Yessir…” Mika giggled as he set aside the rest of his food and took his coat into his hands once more. “Whatever ya say, teach.” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! sorry i took so long to update this. i hope you enjoyed it! i know this chapter was a bit boring but it's gonna be more fun later, i promise. as usual, please let me know if you have any feedback. thank you so much for reading!


	3. Chapter 3

Although it had only been a month since Mika began visiting him regularly, Shu’s life already felt completely different than it had before. It was far too easy for a perfectionist like him to spend hours upon hours focused on minute details, and he often felt like the days were slipping away between his fingers. He’d spent most of his youth chasing his ideals and refining his art, only to realize now that perhaps his stubbornness could have prevented him from figuring out what it was he truly wanted out of life. But through Mika, so naive and clumsy, Shu thought that even if the monotony of his daily tasks continued without much change that he’d be happy, as long as Mika, or at least the promise of seeing him soon, were there. 

The thought of admitting that to anyone made him feel absolutely sick.

Today, it wasn’t Mika’s presence that graced Shu’s workshop. Instead, two voices vibrated throughout the room, one deliberate and calm, and the other enthusiastic and borderline terrifying. 

“Good evening, my dear Shu! Come down and greet your beloved!” 

“We should be more quiet, Wataru. Perhaps he’s upstairs with someone?” Rei yawned softly as he took a seat in one of the chairs. “Should we go and retrieve you ourselves, Shu?” 

Shu groaned as he made his way down the stairs. “You will do no such thing! You’re late, Rei. As for you…” He looked at Wataru. “While it’s nice to see you, I’m quite busy this evening. Is there something I can help you with?” 

Wataru pouted. “Oh, you have time for  _ Rei _ but not  _ me?  _ Shu, I’m so hurt! After all of these years…!”

“...Rei, did you bring him?” Shu sighed as he made his way to one of the shelves and retrieved a burgundy box wrapped in gold ribbon. He handed it to Rei, who accepted it with a smile.

“I told him that I had to collect this from you and he insisted that he come along. How could I say no? Just look at him.” 

Wataru blew a kiss at Rei’s direction. “It’s because you’re so busy, Shu, that I’m forced to come see you at odd times like this. I’ve even passed by on your days off, and the curtains of your windows are shut. Where are you spending your time, hm?” 

“I've been resting when I can.” There was no way Shu would disclose anything about his personal life to these two, and he would rather die than admit that he’d been closing up his shop just to accommodate Mika. “I’m up to my ears in work, as you can probably tell.”

Rei clicked his tongue. “That’s not what I’ve been hearing. Tell me honestly, Shu… Have you met someone?” 

Shu’s face quickly reddened. “Absolutely not! Do you think I have time for that, honestly? Just look at this mess!” He gestured to his desk, covered in what seemed to be different parts of about half a dozen projects. “You two are lucky I’m even allowing you in here during such a hectic period. I know that you are aware that the month leading up to Christmas is the busiest time of the year for me.” 

“Maybe it’s better that you do rest, then.” Rei stood and leaned against the desk, not daring to touch Shu’s work and instead inspecting it with his eyes. “Thank you for taking the time to help me while you have this amount of work. It does seem that you’re overworking yourself…” He nodded towards the lonely head of a doll at the other side of the table, unattached to a body. “...For you to make a mistake like that is unusual.” 

Shu gasped. “What mistake.” 

Wataru glanced at the small porcelain head. “Two differently colored eyes? How very unlike you indeed! Luckily, I think that I can--” 

“That is intentional.” Shu interrupted, folding his arms over his chest defensively. “Heterochromia, it’s called. I’m very insulted that you two would think that  _ I  _ could make such a careless error.” 

“My apologies.” 

“My apologies, as well. It was foolish of us to doubt you.” Wataru patted the top of Shu’s head gently, amused at his obvious annoyance. “As I was saying... The reason that I’ve forced myself into your home tonight is to formally invite you to me and Eichi’s holiday party.” He handed Shu an ivory envelope with a golden wax seal on it, ignoring the way Shu’s expression changed from mildly irritated to practically infuriated. “All jokes aside, it would mean the world to me if you made it. It  _ is  _ our first holiday season as an engaged couple, and as much as you don’t enjoy being around him…” Wataru’s dejected sigh made Shu’s heart sink. “...I enjoy being around  _ you.  _ I know that you’re extremely busy, and bad with crowds, and filled with hatred for my fiancé, but I love you and miss you.”

“I do, too.” Rei added.

“See? He does, too. And Natsume and Kanata, and about a dozen other people who can’t seem to reach you lately.” Wataru smiled sadly. “...And of course, you can bring a date.”

Shu pursed his lips. He knew that it was obvious to all of them that he was pushing his friends away, and he also knew that that was a part of why he had been feeling so lonely until recently. His chest felt heavy; it was one thing to want to protect his own emotions, but to do so at the expense of his oldest and dearest friends was something he never intended to do. “...I’ll consider it.” He murmured. The last thing he wanted to do was accept, only to later disappoint them by panicking and cancelling right before the event.

Wataru grinned and pulled him into a tight, warm hug. “I’m taking that as a yes! We need to enjoy our youth, Shu. You’re not the kind of person who should be locked up in this creepy room all day. Believe us when we say that we only want what’s best for you.” 

Rei made his way over to the two and threw his arms around them. “Isn’t this nice? We can do this again if you come to the party.”

“That isn’t convincing.” Shu muttered. He didn’t reciprocate the group hug, but he didn’t pull away, either. “...I do appreciate your concern, though. You two have always taken care of me.” 

“Of course we do! I would rather die than see you in pain. Which is why you should accept my invitation and believe my guarantee that you will enjoy yourself. I even promised Rei that everyone is going to go home and have sex after.” Wataru kissed the top of Shu’s head before releasing him and Rei. “I’ll get out of your hair now.”

“I will, too. I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet…” 

“It’s 7 PM.” Shu walked them towards the door. 

“And?” 

Shu rolled his eyes and held the door open for them. “Thanks for visiting. Now, get out.” 

****

Pale rays of sunlight beamed down at Mika from in between the bare branches of the trees, forcing him to turn over onto his side on top of his blanket. “Nn, ‘m sorry… I invited ya out on this picnic, but it’s colder than I thought it would be today…”

She giggled and shook her head in response. “I don’t mind at all! I just bought these cute winter clothes, so I should be thanking you for giving me a chance to wear them out. And honestly, I’m just excited to see you, Mika. Where have you been?” Arashi asked, picking up a dry, red leaf from the blanket and dropping it in Mika’s hair playfully. “I’ve hardly seen you lately.” 

“Well, I…” Mika blushed, his cheeks already red from the cold breeze. “I’ve been spendin’ a lotta time with this guy…” 

Arashi’s eyes widened excitedly. “A guy!? Like, a man?”

“Yep, like a man!” Mika laughed and sat up. “Nn, well… so whenever I take the kids on walks, we’d pass by this weird lookin’ store…” 

“With those gorgeous dolls, right?” She asked, opening their picnic basket and taking out some croissants that Mika had brought. “I think you mentioned it to me once.”

Mika smiled when he saw the croissants. “Yep! That’s the place. So the guy who makes ‘em-- his name’s Shu, by the way-- one time I was walkin’ past, ‘n I caught his eye, ‘n I dunno what came over me, but… I waved…?” He took a deep breath when he realized how quickly he was speaking. “...Which is so weird, right?” 

Arashi nodded and bit into a croissant. “For you? Yeah! You’re pretty shy.”

“Exactly! So I thought, maybe since I didn’t feel shy doin’ that, that maybe it was a sign or somethin’? Anywho, I was walkin’ home on one of my days off and happened to walk by--”

“Happened to?”

Mika giggled. “...Ya got me. I walked by accidentally on purpose, ‘n he was in there, so I said hi…” 

“Oh, Mika! I’m so proud!” Arashi wrapped an arm around his shoulders. “So, how was he?”

"What d'ya mean?" 

"You hooked up with him, right?" 

“Wh-- no!” Although the thought was pleasant, Mika quickly dispelled it. “We’ve jus’ been spendin’ a lotta time together. He’s real good at sewin’ and bakin’ about a million other things-- actually, he’s the one who made these croissants, ‘n he even helped me fix this coat…” 

“I wish he didn’t! Now you’ll never get a new one.” Arashi complained. “At least the buttons finally match.” 

“You’re the only two t’ ever notice that.” 

Arashi winked. “I have an eye for those things, you know. But for him to even send handmade pastries home with you… I mean, that just makes it obvious that he has a crush on you, right?” 

Mika looked down at the blanket, running his hands over the wrinkles dejectedly. “...I dunno. On one hand he does things like that ‘n keeps lettin’ me come back, but he’s also kinda… I don’t wanna say mean, but he does like t’ complain. I like that ‘bout him, but it makes it hard t’ tell whether he even likes me or not…” 

“But  _ you _ like  _ him _ , right?”

Mika nodded silently. “He’s so handsome ‘n tall. I bet that if I hugged him, it’d feel real nice ‘n cozy. ‘N he smells good all the time, ‘n his hair looks so soft, ‘n I’m just… when I’m ‘round him, ‘m happy.” 

“Oh, Mika…” Arashi beamed. “If you’re happy, I’m happy! Well, you say that you are, but… you look pretty sad right now.” 

“Yeah…” Mika exhaled slowly. “Ya already know this, but lately I’ve been feelin’ like ‘m just goin’ through the motions… I love what I do ‘n all, but I never really thought ‘bout it. I do it ‘cause it’s what I always thought I should be doin’. But then I met him, ‘n he’s so talented ‘n passionate that it made me start wonderin’ why I don’t have that. So I guess I like him-- a lot. Like, really… a lot. But ‘m also kinda jealous of him. ‘N on top of all of that, I dunno if he likes me like I like him.” 

Arashi nodded and patted Mika’s shoulder. “I understand. But that’s love, isn’t it? You can’t have it without a bit of pain.”

“...it sucks, doesn’t it?” 

“It really does. Take it a day at a time, okay? No one in their right mind would ever be stupid enough to not have a crush on you.”

“Aw, stop it…” Mika grinned bashfully. “I really hope you’re right.” 

Arashi ruffled his hair, the red leaf finally falling out of it. “Don’t worry. I always am.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here's a short and sweet chapter! this one was fun to write, i really love all of these friendships a lot <3 thank you for reading!


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